Big week: 4 month check up: 14lbs4oz, 24.5in. First time to try solids. Yes, he is only 4 months old, but this is when my girls started to explore food… and he would stare at us eating and smack his lips, he would put every thing to his mouth… and then when trying squash he had proper mouth motions, held my wrist and brought the spoon to his mouth… and would scream at me when I would go to get more out of the bowl… I would say he is ready to slowly begin exploring solids. Now, the rest of this post is quite lengthy. I wrote it over many late nights… I didn’t spell check it… it is more like a journal entry… but feel fre
e to read.
“Breast is best”… isn’t this what we always hear? I know this quote is speaking in terms of nutrition for baby. I agree with this quote in terms of “nutrition” for baby for about 95% of the cases out there (let’s be honest, I just threw that number out there – I did not do a scientific study, but I am sure there is some research somewhere out there that would validate that point)… So again, in terms of “Nutrition”, in my opinion, an overwhelming number of women who breastfeed have the optimal nutrition for their baby, but there are a few women, whose milk is lacking in the nutrient arena… So, I believe as far as the nutritional value of breast milk, MANY more times than not, that it is the best for our little ones…. HOWEVER, the phrase “breast is best” can be taken out of context, and when you change the context, then you may find that “breast is not always best”.
I know moms who have had low supply…and took many months working on their supply, to only have LOW supply…
I know moms who have had one child out of several children that could not breast feed even after the elimination diet due to some type of allergy or intolerance…
I know moms who have had such stress in their life, that not only did they have low supply, but exhaustion became real and breastfeeding was an added stress which led to the exhaustion… and then the low supply… the stress… the exhaustion…
I know moms that have had to work to put food on the table for their families and had to do so soon after giving birth… and though their jobs would let them pump (because it’s the law), for many reasons, it just didn’t work out.
I know moms who have been so sick and that it was recommended that they do not breastfeed…
I know moms whose breast milk was always clear, and their baby was not gaining, and they still chose to breastfeed, and it was only when their child started solids that he began to thrive.
So, who are we to judge what type of nutrition some other mom feeds her little one? In my opinion, this is a completely personal decision that a parent makes… and for many moms (and dads), it is not a decision that comes lightly.
So, now for my story…
Baby one (Iz) – Wonderful pregnancy… loved being pregnant. My first beautiful little blessing arrived 2 weeks early, couldn’t latch, and my supply was slow to come in. In fact, my blessing was basically starving by 4 days old… I fed her, pumped my .5oz TOTAL, cleaned pump, slept for 5 minutes, and then it was time to do it all over again – no wonder my supply was low… I am NO
T exaggerating on the sleep r lack there of. Then, there was the confusion – my baby is starving, screaming, starving… should I dry up or increase my supply?…cabbage leaves, lactation teas, fenugreek, etc…etc… Needless to say, my body became confused because I was confused and trying to increase and decrease my supply often at the same time… and after 14 degree fever and mastitis (I will not go into details) followed extreme exhaustion and more confusion… I chose to just pump and feed… and for weeks, I still was not able to get over .5 OZ total… So, it came to commercial formula. My baby was NOT going to starve any longer. So, we tried just about every formula out there… and the throwing up and reflux started…And every slow flow bottle nipple except premie drowned her…Thank God for Dr. Browns…and we finally found Earth’s Best at Whole Foods (at that time, they were the only ones that carried it – and not much of it, so we usually ordered it by the case so we would always have some on hand). Anyway, she could finally hold something down, the screaming ceased, and she began to gain weight and grew on her own curve. It was not the breast, but it was what was best for my baby… At 6, she is still petite (25% for height/9% for weight) BUT it isn’t because she is starving, my girl can eat (her favorite foods are adult size burgers, spaghetti, steak, and tacos)! Though she has had tubes and a broken leg (neither due to being formula fed) and has a very occasional “Louisiana cold”, she is healthy and happy… and I would say she is thriving in more ways than one.
Baby two (Roo) – again, loved being pregnant… She came 2 days late… Her little chubby cheeks made me smile… and those eyes… oh those eyes! As far as feeding her, my supply was a little better, she latched 
beautifully for about a week… But perhaps due to my “little better supply” – 1 oz total… or 2 on a good day, her latch went a way… About this time I rented a hospital pump and that helped increase my supply some, but I had to go back to work at 6 weeks, so I decided to start weaning her to formula rather than having to pump at a public school (something about that just sounded unsanitary to me)… She was on Gerber Good Start Gentle Ease… It was not the breast… but it is what was best for my baby (and my family)….she never had reflux, she has always slept soundly… and she has only had a VERY occasional cold… So again, like blessing number one, she IS healthy despite being formula fed… She is also petit, but not as much as her sister… she is a little closer to average :).
Baby three (K-bug)… now here is the kicker… literally, he was a “kicker” and still is! Pregnancy with number 3… did I mention he was a kicker? He was a week late… He is stubborn… He has a temper… His giggles light up a room, and his scream clears all the crows out the tree… he is my little man (even though I am not fond of that term)… There it is, I consented with the masses, and I said it… “my little man”. I knew he was a boy from the beginning, because being pregnant wasn’t fun like it was for the girls… Then, labor – well, we won’t go there either…but yeah, not as easy as the girls… But, when I saw K-bug for the first time, my heart skipped a beat. He was such a beautiful creation… how could something so big (8lb8oz), fit in my belly? Anyway, he latched beautifully just as Roo had from day 1. But on day 2, he was so congested, he stopped eating, the lactation nurse had to check his oxygen levels, and she couldn’t even get him latched on. We went home, rented the hospital pump. I would pump, Lance would feed, and I would occasionally breast feed him, but my body hurt all over. I felt like I was holding a 50# football. My supply was lacking… and he was throwing up and screaming for 24/7 for about 4 weeks… Since my supply was low again, we had to supplement. We tried every type of formula, and my heart broke with each one. I felt like a failure for having to try… and I felt like a failure when I saw my helpless baby suffering. I thought it was rough with Iz, but yeah… maybe it is because this is the most recent experience, k-bugs first 4 weeks were rough. I was up for all hours of the night with a screaming baby googling for answers… Lance and I were zombies, we were barely able to formulate a conversation… we were struggling to stay awake… and often, that chicken that was supposed to go in the oven hours ago… was still left on the kitchen counter… SO, we, as husband and wife/mom and dad… made the decision to stop breast feeding… to stop all the commercial formulas… and to make our own goat-milk formula for our baby. It couldn’t be any worse than what it had been, right? When we lived on the farm, I had already researched goats milk for babies, so with several days of more research and tracking down ingredients, we took the plunge… and I am so glad we did. We had a different baby over night. No more screaming… No more throwing up… and a lot less laundry! He is growing a
nd thriving. He is 14lbs 4 oz at his month check up (right under average – as all of our children… but he is following his curve and meeting milestones). My heart was so happy, when the doctor (who knows about his formula – though she can’t recommend it, she was fine with him being on it as long as he was gaining and healthy) said “he has such a happy spirit… an innate happy spirit, that you don’t see in many babies.” I said ” thank you… and yes he does, but he also has a temper and he wants what he wants when he wants it (this is when he can make the crows clear the tree).” She complemented his trunk control, his little rolls, and his happy disposition… 
She even asked the nurse-in-training if she had ever met such a happy baby. If only they would have known him for his first four weeks… Ha! So there it is, my baby is thriving on a formula that looks like coffee milk, is sure to turn heads and get stares, has live-living organisms, is made fresh daily, and tastes pretty darn good…. it’s not the breast, but it is what is best for my baby.
I have people on both sides of the fence in my family/friends circle – Those that give you the stink eye when you pull out a bottle… and those that give you a stink eye when you pull out the breast (even if it is covered)… GET OVER IT PEOPLE… let people raise their kids however they wish, unless they abusing their children in some way. Give one another support and encouragement… know that your mommy friends that have different perspectives on feeding their children or birthing their children for that matter, or being a stay at home mom or a working mom, want what is best for their children and are doing the best they can with what they are equipped with (whether that be will-power, resources, knowledge, or by the grace of God)…just because they choose to bring their beautiful children into this world by c-section and feed them formula and go back to work when their baby is a week old, that does not make them a lesser mom than those who choose a natural birth, the breast, and to stay at home until their “baby” is an adult. Being a mom is tough, but each family should have the freedom to raise their children, how they wish without criticism from the ones they love.
I began writing this a couple of months ago… This is not directed toward anyone, but I see so many posts bashing the other woman because of how they feed their children… how they birth their children… and if they choose to work or stay home.
As you have read, I have breast fed for a short time, but mostly commercial formula fed, and homemade formula fed… and my kids are healthy…that’s all I want – healthy kids, and I am sure that is all you want too, right? I had much depression about failing to breast feed (especially the first two times), but this last time, it left me with a heavy heart only briefly because I could look at my two girls and know that they were healthy and happy… and soon my baby boy would follow!
I have only had natural child birth with all 3 – why, you may ask? Not because I am crunchy… have you seen that needle? Do, I think that it may also have given my kids a nice start to not be medicated, sure, BUT, my motives were purely selfish… I don’t do needles! Would I recommend going natural, sure… BUT, if you have a C-section or an Epidural to bring life into this world, you go girl – you have done a beautiful thing!
I have been a working mom and a stay-at-home mom, and neither job is easy – they both are hard for different reasons. So, if you want to talk about why one is hard, please talk about it without bashing other moms.
Now, that was a lot to write… and I am sure most people didn’t even read it… but… for those of you that did, I hope you could maybe identify with at least part of my experience… or found a glimpse of encouragement… or possibly understand that being a mom is a different experience for each of us, but it is one of the best/most rewarding experiences that we will ever have. Be blessed and know that you are loved!
Beyond the Elm 